Blessings...

I have been contemplating this word quite a bit this year. It is even the focus of my Christmas letter this year. I find that the more I look at my life through the lens of gratitude, the more blessed I feel.

I feel especially blessed in my spiritual walk these days. I was indoctrinated into Catholicism as a child. The pendulum swung and led me to the evangelical side for a few years. And then because nothing seemed to fit, I found myself without a worship home. I should have known I would end up at Grace. Some of the most amazing people in my life attend this church. It should not have surprised me that when I finally walked through the doors of Grace, I found myself at home. An accepting, honest place. It also shouldn't surprise me that today's sermon hit me exactly where it needed to.

It was all about despair. Our pastor talked of how despair can be the catalyst for one's growth spiritually. As I reflect, I realize that so many of my blessings have been the result of some of my darkest days. Financial woes have now made me careful about money. My mom's death connected me to Joe which has led to MANY of the blessings in my life. (Jack and Julia, need I say more??) My mother's death profoundly changed me as a human being. My ethics, my heart, my soul...all of these were positively affected by my mother's death. It is sad that it took this incredibly difficult experience...the loss of the single most important person in my world...to find myself and to begin my true journey with God.

Blessings? Way too numerous to count. All I know is that from this day forward, as I find myself in desperate, intense, difficult situations, I will just sit back. Breathe. And wait. Time tends to teach us that everything that comes our way is truly a blessing. And for that, I am grateful.