Gifts

For a long time now,
maybe since having children,
I have truly enjoyed giving
much more than I have enjoyed receiving.

(Of course, I love a DSW gift certificate...
a shopping spree at Pier One...
a good massage...
Thanks, family.)

But truly
nothing excites me more than giving.

Despite our wretched economy
I gave.
I gave what I could.
I gave my kids money to drop into the Salvation Army buckets when we went to Festival or WalMart or Rainbow (yeah - I'm still ticked off at Target for getting rid of the bell ringers...)
I gave to our church - food, money, gifts, toys.
I gave to our school - money, blankets, fabric, time.

I gave to my kids - moderately.
Things we could afford.
Things our kids could actually use.
Things that didn't cause us to go into credit-card-debt-from-hell.

I can't tell you how full I feel.

I know that giving is not about me.
But that is precisely what feels so good.

It was
so
not
about
me.

I know it probably seems that way, being that I am writing about it here.
I truly am not trying to pat myself on the back.
I am enamored with the feeling of giving without it feeding my ego.

What a gift!

I gave the most amazing gift to a friend who consistently gives and gives and gives
just for the joy of giving.
She asks for NOTHING in return.

I knew she wanted this gift.
She had talked about it for months.
I had my eye on this gift
hoping I could buy it
before someone else bought it for her.

The BEST part of this Christmas was seeing her open this gift in front of me
knowing she absolutely ADORED it.
The moment was cathartic for me.
It was strangely cumulative.
This season of giving ended with the giving of the most perfect gift.

And it SO wasn't about me.

If we as a society could give without need for a pat on the back
or a write off on our taxes
I truly believe our society would morph into something special
and incredible
and altruistic
and loving.

Oh - and did I mention that my kids
who received so moderately this year
exclaimed on Christmas morning
"This is the best Christmas ever!"?

I couldn't agree more.