My boy...

Dear Son,
I love you more than life itself.
I pray for you.
I pray for your safety.
I pray to be a good mom.
I pray that you are loved.

I watch you when you don't notice.
I know every fleck of blue in your eyes.
The freckle on your cheek.
The birthmark above your ear.
I watch you to see you smile
To see you laugh
To see you cry
And to make sure you feel loved

I listen to you when you talk.
When you sleep.
When you sing.
When you breathe.
I listen to learn who you are
And what is important to you
And to make sure you feel loved

I feel your hand when you allow me to hold it
Your arms when you allow me to hug you
Your tears when they fall on my shoulder
Your soft, uncalloused skin.
I feel you so I can remember you
Before you get big
And to make sure you feel loved

I love the smell of you after you shower
Your freshly washed hair
Your clean pajamas
The lingering mint from your brushed teeth
The Axe you lavishly spray
You tell me I'm crazy
But I smell to remind me of when you were a baby
And I would bury my face into your neck
And smell your babyness
And to feel how much I love you

I pray that others see in you what I see in you
Your goodness
Your justice
Your humor
Your intelligence
Your innocence
Your need to be accepted

And I pray that you feel loved

Even when I'm not there to do it.