It's funny how things work out...

The end of the school year was a whirlwind.
Erlandson got a job at McKinley as an assistant principal (yes, now he's one of those types) so...
Bunde decided she wanted his job in social studies on our team.
Which left science open.
Which caused my principal to worry a bit about placing Bunde in social studies
and leaving the science position open to someone who had never taught science on the Math and Science Team.

Long story, but it's complicated.
We do things weirdly on our team
And have this lovefest going on.
We didn't want someone coming on the team
who didn't get it
or
who couldn't buy into it.
So...
because I have taught on this team since the beginning
AND
because I have taught science
I was a comfortable option to take over the science position.

I truly wasn't sure what I wanted to do.
There are SO many things I love about ILA
SO many things I've honed
SO much fun I've had working closely with Terry.
I was comfortable AND still doing a good job.

There are SO many things I love about science, though.
SO much I have wanted to try
SO many kids who LOVE science (they are on the Math and Science Team by choice, after all.)
SO many possibilities.
I have wanted to give science a try for a few years now.
I just wasn't sure I wanted it to happen RIGHT NOW.

Well, I left the decision to the universe.
(Actually, I told my principal to put me wherever he wanted me. At this point, he was the universe.)
The universe/principal wanted me to teach science.
I accepted.
Not gleefully or begrudgingly.
I accepted calmly...
Which kind of freaked me out.

Something kept gnawing at me.
I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing.
This is odd for me.
Usually I make a decision and I don't really worry about it.
But this was a decision I left to the universe.
I didn't make the decision.
I left it to someone else.

Anyway, I did a lot of self-talk
and remembered that I really am not in control anyway.
Not that this helped at all...

Until I fulfilled an obligation that I had with the ILA department....

Last week, I spent three hours each afternoon writing curriculum for advanced ILA, a subject I have taught for the past few years.
I decided to fulfill the writing obligation, because I have definite ideas about what these kids need and what is not being provided for them.

I'm not sure what I was thinking.

I sat in this windowless, freakin' cold room every day
while the sun was beating down outside
and my children were playing with their paid babysitter
being asked questions like...
What should we do about spelling in advanced ILA?
and
What should we do about independent reading in ILA?
and
How can we extend kids using just the materials we have for sixth graders even though the materials are not written at a level that extends them?

Well, we all shared our thoughts.
Here were their answers to our suggestions.
We have to do spelling lists in advanced ILA. You need to do it just like we tell you to.
and
We really don't care about all the research you've done about independent reading so we won't require independent reading for ILA students even though ALL of the research says that students who read above 40 minutes per day score at the 90% percentile or higher on standardized tests
and
Sorry, we have no money to extend the kids in sixth grade so just use the stories in the textbook that you think are above grade level.

It's official.
I have been intellectually castrated.

And as a result,
I have realized that I really did make the right decision to teach science.
Oh wait.
I didn't make that decision, did I?
Hmmmmm....
Smart universe.