My Heart....

My Bailey...
The old Golden Retriever/Chesapeake that is as much a part of our family as I am...
The member of our family who was so important that he got his picture taken with Joe and me at our wedding...
The member of our family who was so loved that I asked this question when I found out I was pregnant with Jack: "How can I possibly love anyone else as much as I love this dog?"
My friend Mary assured me that I would be overtaken by the sight of my baby.
She was right, of course.

Nonetheless, Bailey continued to be a loved constant in our home for the past 15 years.
The jingle of his collar...
The whine to go outside...
The selective hearing when leaving the yard...
The constant begging to play ball...

It's been a hard few months.
Watching him deteriorate at such an incredibly fast pace.
He has lost his will
to play
to run
to eat
to stand
to hear
to love.

It is time for him to go.
I know this...
Each time I have to lift him so he can stand...
Each time I have to carry him down our front steps...
Each time I say his name and he doesn't answer...
Each time I hear him whine and wince as he tries to stand....

Rationally, I know letting him go is the right thing to do.

But the tears, the angst, the pain.
My heart is heavy.
Jack explained it well through his tears...
"My heart is going to blow up inside me."

We are going to have many tears tomorrow...
My Bailey - the love of my life - will be put to sleep.
To heaven he will go.
His pain will be gone.

Ours will go on.
But our memories of Bailey will comfort us
and remind us how lucky we were to have him with us for 15 wonderful years.

God bless our wonderful companion.