Our broken hearts...

Well, we put Bailey down six days ago.

My heart is still broken.
I so love that dog/human.
(So do my kids....
The looks on their faces in this picture, the night before we put Bailey down, say it all.)

To know him is to understand...
You'd have thought he was human....

He KNEW me.
I can't explain it.
It was as if he knew my soul somehow.

I would walk into the house
My sadness in my heart
But not on my sleeve
Or so I thought

Bailey would come to me
Instinctively
Knowing I needed unconditional love
Without questions
Without judgment
Without reservation

I can't even explain how much I miss him.
He really hadn't been himself for the past few months.
It was as if his soul and spirit left his body
Sometime in May

I think I began missing him then.

It doesn't make it any easier.

I miss taking him out right away in the morning.
I miss taking him out before bed at night.
I miss putting my finger into his peanut butter jar and feeding him his medication.
I miss filling his water dish.
I miss tripping over him as I get out of bed.
I miss snuggling with him on the floor.
I miss hearing his panting and his jingly collar.
I miss his smell and his spirit.

I know we'll get a new puppy soon
But I also know I'll never have him again.

Jack has missed Bailey the most....
His tears evoke tears from me...
Everyday.
Even though I know we made the right decision.

I ache.
I want him back.
I miss him.
I will never forget him
And he will forever be a part of me....