Coping Strategies While in Hell

Step 1 - Bring Advil and Xanax. Lots of it. Don't share under any circumstances. In hell, sharing is considered a weakness.

Step 2 - Sleep a lot. Getting a Select Comfort bed will really help with this. Our sleep numbers are both 35. Go figure.

Step 3 - Using modern technology, create extra body organs. Or steal them from Satan. A cold heart will really help you while you are hanging out in hell.

Step 4 - Bring a good book. Harry Potter is always a good choice.

Step 5 - Bring a fan. In fact, bring two. (Double entendre: one that creates a cool atmosphere and is electric; one that is a part of your entourage and worships you. Everyone in hell needs a cheerleader. A hot one. You know what they say, save the cheerleader, save the world.)

Step 666 - A fine set of kabob skewers will be handy. Lots of fire around, you know.

Step 7 - Bring chess. Or Monopoly. Or Scrabble. You can make those games last forever.

Step 8 - Bring your summer trousseau. Duh. It's hot. (Double entendre: you AND the weather.)

Step 9 - Make prank calls on your cell phone. Or prank texts. That drives people crazy who pay for each text they receive.

Step 10 - Don't worry about trying to impress anyone. Keep your eye on the ball. And stay away from the flames.

By Serpent and Lucifer