Twelve step program for getting out of hell.

Step 1 - Admit you have a problem.

Step 2 - Keep your eyes on the ground. Don't look up. Ever.

Step 3 - Don't smile. Ever.

Step 4 - Do not allow sarcasm to permeate your soul.

Step 5 - Limit your hotness. Frigidity is a good thing. Seriously.

Step 666 - Keep your body where it is supposed to be. Your mind, on the other hand, can go wherever it wants. Just as long as nobody knows about it. Refer to step 1 and step 3.

Step 7 - Drink eight glasses of water every day. That's just sound advice. I don't care who you are or where you are.

Step 8 - Don't ever, under any circumstances, disagree with your leader (aka Satan.)

Step 9 - Regarding step 8, if people ask you questions, feign ignorance and take them to your leader immediately.

Step 10 - Get a dog. Everyone should have one. And dogs don't belong in hell. They are too pure.

Step 11 - Wear comfortable shoes. Like they say, if your feet are happy, so are you. Besides, you can outrun the flames better.

Step 12 - Don't speak. Ever.

This pretty much insures a mass exodus out of hell. Get ready, Earth.

Love, Beelzabub and Legion